the cool air of new hyde park says nothing other than "welcome back," and having most of my errands carried through, i finally spent a full week to rest.
i tried out death stranding, this magnificent glorified fedex simulator where i'd carry over 100 kgs of cargo from different cities in America. It's a profound experience in how loneliness can feel refreshing yet haunting at the same time. i think to some degree, i need both at different times to maintain my sanity.
meeting beatriz and sam (critical) on tuesday.
meeting zfellows team on wednesday.
not much has happened this year for me except for the completion of a novella, an EP, and relentless self learning.
so far i've endured public rejection, bad faith interpretation / content commodification, silence from promising leads, sickness, and theres nothing more i want than a full escape from a place that essentially has nothing good to offer. the problem is i have no better place to escape to. i will be forced to stay unless i have an actual lift off, but i cant see how far away that lift off is from me. i dont know where im on the curve.
but i feel like something is coming.