im not going to get super in-depth here because it could all be fairy tales. so far im not sure how my hypothetical project gemini can even become a thing years after the maturation of project chrysalis. its 0 to 1. and you know 0 to 1 is considered at the moonshot level.
but in order to start project gemini, i have to change my mindset about what value higher education brings to the table.
bcbp. biochem + biophysics.
a foundational physics model, built on top of immense biological and chemical data, requires these rigorous disciplines. when i claimed that college was a back up plan, i wasnt thinking beyond chrysalis. what i can do with bcbp. i thought to myself, this major track aligns with my overall goal, but it's a backup. that was the wrong mindset. to do what wang kai, and the other scientists i have talked to back in summer, to aim for that 0 to 1 moment in biotech, to actually revolutionize smth, i need both the domain network and the domain education.
i need to master the foundations. and this has completely rewired me when i think about higher education in general, and to be more specific the classes im taking at amherst college. and this actually achieves two things. one is what ive already talked about, which is preparation for the domain network and education, so it brings me closer to the environment (phd) where i can really pursue the frontier of biophysics, with some flavor or biochemistry for smth as nearly-impossible as project gemini. this will motivate me to stay in school, not thinking about it as a backup plan but a steppingstone toward a very clear direction. BUT, at the same time, i think what is even more critical (on a character level) is that when im dealing with basic calculus, and basic chemistry right now, i need to train myself to endure the boredom. i need to fully accept and enjoy the feeling that everything is moving too slow.
because it is going to take a long time. biotech is not a place for maximum iteration speed. it takes a long time to master domain knowledge, network, and build my character before i can aim for my north star.
now my headspace is anew. amherst isnt a college. its a required steppingstone. and the most measure i can take regarding time allocation for chrysalis is gap sem/year. transfer is not a good option since most schools dont have bcbp. and dropping out is going to erase the very specific future plan that i just talked about above.
now i feel much better about where im. thank you, evan.