2026

many things happened in 2025. i mean many many things. here are just a handful that i could recall:

• accepted into pshsj
• received silent treatment second time
• went to american dream for the first time
• getting into northeastern, swarthmore, emory, amherst, wesleyan, uci, ucd, bing and ofc sbu; chose amherst and started looking into the sun lab (oh boy, in a good way)
• inception of an idea of biomanufacturing...
• visited umass amherst, amherst college, and boston (oh boy, in a bad way)
• third and final silent treatment (holy end it for the love of god)
• mission impossible final reckoning (5.5/10)
• finishing my time in columbia shp... such a good time... seeing the cherry blossoms next to mudd
• released six point five
• met and boating in central park with qian (or shawn... can't believe i gave someone a name before my own child)
• sidequests... dungeon brawls, verbo, flushing
• prom, graudation, cats
• ml engineer @ sci research institute
• china trip (lots of pivots, but settled for organoids)
• amherst: fizz, mountain hike, poke, continue composing but halted eventually to advance my skillsets in the future, moving into dan's room to work
• upenn, salk, umass, ucolorado...
• kendall square (unsuccessful attempt n after linkedin + yc cofounder matching hunt)
• mijia glasses, ai debate arena
• nightmares (still ongoing)
• started writing fiction, halting for real life progress to continue for more retrospective writing
• october break, citizenship test, thanksgiving break, dark souls 3, naturalization
• industry validation... pivoted
• whoop trial, apple watch sunk cost dilema, settled for bevel pro + apple watch (best combo)
• more movies (borat [8/10], borat 2 [7/10], inglourious basterds [6/10], whiplash [8.5/10])
• frankenstein (3.5/10)
• ice skate
• applying to z
• interview with z, plan, review of plan, my manual labor substantially increase for the next few months for the better, followup with z (50% there?), alignment for everyone soon
• pluribus s1 (6.8/10), death stranding (ongoing) - so far 9/10
• christmas break: arcade games, bike ride in central park, mindmapping literally every thing, more city trips, us (8.8/10), good boy (2/10), minecraft dungeons, django unchained (5.5/10)
• they keep trying to get to me
• created my 2026 booklist: meditations, thinking in bets, anabasis, made to stick, never split the difference, the prince, discoursese on livy

this year tooling evolved exponentially, and a lot of problems and worries that i have have been resolved by the service of all the open sourced toolings. the reasons for me to read these books are to solve my second type of worries and tendency to brood. i need to resolve my anxiety over the unknown and act to come up with many different contingencies. a man with all the preparations won't fear failure so much as a man who has prepared nothing prior to entering the battlefield. a man who doens't prepare can only prepare to fail. the logical backup points, the classic multi-millennia-old wisdoms of rulers generals and conquerors live because they serve as a knowledge well for the modern men. they are preserved because they have been proven useful for every coming generation. and i will involve myself in acquiring the knowledges.

i have so many things to do in 2026. and i know what i need to do. i am no longer trying to figure out the shape of an elephant as a blind man; i have figured out what an elephant is inside and out and is ready to take action on this creature. and that is how i will dedicate my time for the foreseable future.

there are so many ppl i want to meet, so many adventures in the mountains i want to embark on, so many tasks i want to complete to move forward with my life. life doesn't come at me, it comes from me.

and today i wake up from a nightmare. a nightmare of monsters invading my grandparents' suburban sancturary. i had to scream to save them. the monsters are still present in my mind but not close in reality. they are lurking around the ppl i know and care about. but the boundaries set up laws in every nation prevents acts that will truly terrify me so i only need to tame my dreamful fears, wake up, clean myself, read and run, work, live, have joy and laugh with my close ones.

focus. the monsters think me of a threat becuase im alive, im able, im thinking, and im focused. to be distracted by them or any other factor is giving them, and all the other unforseeable threats (time being the biggest of them all) a chance to eliminate me. and so i must prevail. i must survive and ride the tides of the passage of time and stride toward the darkness, entering a realm where god has never touched and seek something far greater than any interpersonal fueds of this century. im on this earth not to prove to anyone. im on this earth to give birth to my work, and hopefully my work would outlast me after i perish.

focus. listen to music that charms me. learn. acquire knowledge and occasionally entertain myself to not burn out and for the sake of enjoying life. i have all the tools at my disposal. i have to guard and build my domain and contribute to a team of innovators/dreamers that i don't yet know fully of. i want to know more people. i want to laugh cry think fight and rise atop with all of them. there is so much momentum and the longer i stay in the storm the more i can see. and the more i can see the more im happy. for the beautiful and/or terrifying truth that awaits me in the ultimate end, i aim to seek you, or at least share thoughts with people that befriend me who can seek the truth far better than i ever could.

focus. dont look around and be in situations where your state of body and mind would be brought down. remember to exercise and make yourself a lively human being. make you the happiest audience when glancing into a mirror, knowing that your blood flows healthily and that your skin color, body, and expression not pale but of a living man, that can continue a forever war. become a warrior. dont set yourself for failure by going to places that drains you, meet people that drains you. dont focus on conditional goals such as an untestedm, unintelligent romantic counterpart whilst you yourself become wiser and more intelligent. chase unconditional and eternal goals. and know what is right and wrong. and know who is good or bad. and do what is worth doing.